Noah looked at me just now from his sandbox and said, "I wanna fail mommy."
I thought for a split second about trying to boost his self esteem and encourage him not to but I stopped. I stopped because I thought I about all the times I myself have not done the very thing I desire to because I was afraid to fail.
So instead I said, "That's very brave of you. Did you know that some people are afraid to fail and miss out on a lot of cool things?"
Noah was silent for awhile and kept playing. After a few minutes of quietly pushing his truck around, picking up sand and pouring it out he replied.
"I'll do it Mom, I'll fail then," he said with quiet confidence.
And there it is, our greatest fears and accomplishments all wrapped up with a messy bow. Failure. It's brave and adventurous. Gruesome. Scary. Exhilarating? Necessary.
Yesterday a woman came into MOPS to talk about stress management and something she said really struck me. She talked about playing a game against a computer and how the computer has an algorithm that knows all the different moves you could make and plays accordingly. She was relating it to how God is in control no matter our choices. He can anticipate the outcomes of our next moves and as she was speaking I remembered a speaker named Danny Silk and how he talked about God not being afraid of our failures. God placed two trees in the garden and pointed them out. He knew the potential for bad choices and yet gave Adam and Eve the freedom to fail. And he had a plan. I don't believe it caught him by surprise or threw him into a worrisome tizzy.
So I ask him for the boldness to love in the face of failure. Mine, my husbands, my boys(oh those boys), friends, strangers.
And to create, dream and step into joyful desires willing to fail and fail hard.
Even at this post! lol* Hope you're failing triumphantly today.
Wednesday, April 23, 2014
Sunday, December 2, 2012
Falling behind and running forward
Now if you know me than you might know that this is a dangerous thing for me to wield as I love books and games and tools for learning. I love things that my kids might not give one hoot about. Although that may be because they are not owls. I digress.
Real (cute) Owl
So I was searching for something to challenge Owen in Math as he surpassed what we already had. We've been working with money, time and fractions at home without a workbook and at one point we had a free trial for a challenging math program online called Dreambox. It was good but it was $10 a month that I didn't want to pay.
As my boys explored the toy area with Legos and a Train Set to play with I poured over curriculum of all kinds with mostly math as the focus.
Goodness there are a lot of choices. My brain felt like a computer trying to sort through what to throw out and what to keep, what would be engaging and what would not, what is too advanced or too remedial. I settled in on a Brain Quest Workbook for grade 1 because it looked like fun. It's not going to cover everything we'll go over in a year but it's a good jumping off point. I didn't get something with only math when I saw this could give us some much-needed writing prompts and a short overview of a lot of subjects. It's full of fun short exercises in many subjects and I'm hoping will be a good supplement to encourage confidence in reading, writing and math. We'll still be doing things at home utilizing the library, the internet and projects or trips made up from our own creative minds but I think this will be a good addition.
It's funny that although I know Owen may be behind in some ways according to the public schools agenda for reading and writing we've been able to go much further in other areas like science and history. Plus we get to talk about things like politics, compassion, self-control, current events and ancient religion keeps coming up again and again due to any history lesson. Owen has even developed a love of cooking fun kid food this year and of course he is still building Legos voraciously.
I feel blessed to be able to choose new experiences based on interests and passions. We're able to attend a kids class on nature science, robots, or animals as well as sitting together to read an easy reader. We're able to touch dinosaur bones and not just read about them. We can have recess with cousins or outings with friends. Last summer we spent a lot of time picking leaves, berries, acorns and pine cones to identify trees. I remember doing that in 6th grade science. :)
So I am leaving the hurt I've held on to from negatives comments and experiences Owen has had in his struggle to adapt in public school, sunday school, his enrichment courses or even in playgroups and only taking the lessons with me.
A few weeks ago I read a church sign as I drove away from Owen's homeschool enrichment classes that said, "Mistakes are lessons too." I think that has been one of the hardest things for me to resign myself with. I don't jump in just to fix everything socially or academically but I've let myself get hurt so badly watching him struggle and fail or hear other people talk about it. Being with him has helped change my view to see the passion and compassion he's filled with although his self-control and emotional maturity can still be difficult. I don't think it's fair to let it define him.
He is six.....and a boy......and was somehow born a very strong individual. Hmmm....
I'm glad to be here to guide and support him through his hard lessons, reminding myself of the character it will help to build even if we don't see it to begin with.
Last week in his Monday enrichment courses I was overjoyed to hear my son made the choice to move classes from Fitness to Habitats. He's been having a hard time with the fact that he's been in two gym classes back to back that have very flexible rules( but rules to be kept still) and the whole gym class social dynamic. Each week he'd been given the choice to participate or not to. He was choosing not to, almost every time and had been getting in trouble out of boredom on the sidelines with a friend. So after weeks of talking about it, talking to the teacher, and getting utterly frustrated I thought; "Whatever, he's only got four weeks left. He can just ride it out until next semester when we'll change what we need to."
So I was pretty amazed when I let go of the situation( stopped trying to fix it for a moment) that my son made this choice. We had discussed it a few weeks before but it was by no means resolved. Anyways, that growth to me meant so much more than anything he would've done because I had stood there and made it happen. We had disciplined, discussed and lectured but when he finally had a break and a little room to breath and think about it without my interruption he made a good choice for himself. He's growing. :)
So God please give me wisdom( and self-control!) for when to intervene, when to discuss and when to allow for freedom to fall or to succeed knowing that those moments help him to become much stronger than any safe, controlled environment ever could. God I believe you err on the side of Freedom, please help me to get there.
And thank you for these strong-willed, rambunctious, amazing boys!
Help me to guide them as they race toward their destinies, sometimes being more sure of their steps than I am.
He is six.....and a boy......and was somehow born a very strong individual. Hmmm....
I'm glad to be here to guide and support him through his hard lessons, reminding myself of the character it will help to build even if we don't see it to begin with.
Last week in his Monday enrichment courses I was overjoyed to hear my son made the choice to move classes from Fitness to Habitats. He's been having a hard time with the fact that he's been in two gym classes back to back that have very flexible rules( but rules to be kept still) and the whole gym class social dynamic. Each week he'd been given the choice to participate or not to. He was choosing not to, almost every time and had been getting in trouble out of boredom on the sidelines with a friend. So after weeks of talking about it, talking to the teacher, and getting utterly frustrated I thought; "Whatever, he's only got four weeks left. He can just ride it out until next semester when we'll change what we need to."
So I was pretty amazed when I let go of the situation( stopped trying to fix it for a moment) that my son made this choice. We had discussed it a few weeks before but it was by no means resolved. Anyways, that growth to me meant so much more than anything he would've done because I had stood there and made it happen. We had disciplined, discussed and lectured but when he finally had a break and a little room to breath and think about it without my interruption he made a good choice for himself. He's growing. :)
So God please give me wisdom( and self-control!) for when to intervene, when to discuss and when to allow for freedom to fall or to succeed knowing that those moments help him to become much stronger than any safe, controlled environment ever could. God I believe you err on the side of Freedom, please help me to get there.
And thank you for these strong-willed, rambunctious, amazing boys!
Help me to guide them as they race toward their destinies, sometimes being more sure of their steps than I am.
Monday, October 8, 2012
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me
Technically I'm supposed to be writing a grocery list right now.
So without going into all the details I'm just going to say this past month has been a bit overwhelming but we are calming down now and having more time for each other and room to breathe.
You may already now(especially if you're friends or family) but I have two beautiful boys who are 2 and 6. We have just started our first homeschooling year for our 1st born Owen and we are finding our way. I spent the 1st month rushing forward getting kind of bossy and angry because I was stressed and pregnant and trying to figure things out. Surprise, surprise I had some opposition to this method.
So I kept( and still keep) going to God in prayer asking for wisdom and the ability to let my son make choices in this process. I've also made it a point to try and back off when I sense I'm coming on too strongly and my timing for something is off. I'm also trying to value my sons interests even when they seem frivolous to me( video games anyone?).
We're starting to have more fun with this now. Yay!
Owen's started reading here and there with his dad. Video games, bedtime stories, not big words but much more willing than with me so I'm grateful.
Last week at some point Owen woke up and wanted to work out some math problems just for fun. We did this for about 20 minutes before we ate breakfast. Fun development.
We've had lot's of new opportunities to connect with others, go on field trips, and living history days that we've had to pick and choose so as to not do too much. Trying to find a good balance.
My son loves hands on and he loves to lead. So I'm praying for ways to nurture this as well as gently challenge him to see the value in more passive learning and in working together in groups. I am also very hands on but like to stand off and observe or take it all in as well. My most cherished moments growing up were times where I could travel somewhere and experience new things in deeper ways. I'm still like that.
I've also noticed that Owen has some sensory things that bother him( some since he was a baby). I think I've given into some belief in the past that you'll get over something if you're made to do it, wear it, eat it, whatever so I haven't been quick to cater to him. I have been realizing though( with the help of my husband and other friends) that this is not always the best way to go about this. My husband helped me to see this about myself. So I'm trying to see where I've been too harsh and allow for some grace.
Example: Owen doesn't like Sunday morning worship at our church but he will happily sit through and sometimes participate in the much quieter Friday nite worship.
I used to worry that Owen hated worship altogether( he showed such a strong dislike) but he is much more respectful and willing to participate in a quieter atmosphere.
So I'm trying to give room to be different, room to have preferences and room to let him feel powerful and be respected as well. I'm trying not to bulldoze. I want to nurture a house of respect and love. Wow is that challenging. It's not all about me and my way. I think that's the 1st hurdle in giving anyone else respect young or old. I guess that can be a hurdle for a lot of things.
I thank God for my husband who fills in gaps where I lack and who has grace for me too( I am not always lovely).
I thank God for his being with me and my family every step. The word I kept standing on all month long was the promise that his mercies are new every morning. Great is Thy Faithfulness is going through my mind now. It's true though. I'd have the most exasperating day where it seemed as if everything was going wrong and the next morning I'd feel his peace and joy and I'd thank him for everything I could think of. I could feel his mercy on me and new strength to face the day.
I'm praying for the fruit of the Spirit to be evident in our household and to be led by the Spirit not only in my personal walk but in our steps forward as a family.
The Joy of the Lord is my Strength.
Tuesday, July 17, 2012
Back to school time when learning is everywhere
So even with my husbands schooling, possible job change and the idea that I may be going back to work in some capacity we are still homeschooling. So grabbing the paper two Sundays ago I picked up the ads and start flipping through the school supplies. I used to get excited about the sales and buying brand new supplies for a fresh start each year that even when Owen was too young I'd still browse the back to school stuff. Even when I went to Culinary school I bought supplies as if I was going to high school. So for years I've had folders and notebooks and a tiny dictionary and thesaurus that I've had little to no use for.
This year I noticed something really quickly as I looked over the ads......I don't need any of it. Except maybe a pack of cheap markers and a 1 penny pack of pencils just in case.
I looked again this week as if they'd have a cheap science kit on sale or books on Leonardo DaVinci (whom we've been reading about in prep for a local exhibit).
Instead a lot of my supplies have come from the thrift store or the library and an amazon gift card. I have had to suppress the urge to buy insane amounts of books because there will always be a new book we want to read and I can't buy them all. I did invest $2.99 into a children's dictionary though to encourage Owen's reading and understanding. I'm trying to get items that I know we will get good use out it and are relevant to our learning experience.
I'm excited to say that Owen read me a couple pages out of a favorite book the other day. They were pushing hard to have them all reading by the end of Kindergarten but it was turning him off to it a bit. So if we asked him to read something short at home he'd say, "I can't, I can't you read it!" and get all flustered that we even asked him. I'm trying to give him a little room because I figure he has time and an insatiable need to know things so he's got to start reading eventually. So I keep asking him to pick out books or grabbing something I know he wanted to learn about at the library and leaving it with him. We read together a lot( we finished the reading quota one month into the summer reading program this year amazingly).
I'm wondering about recommendations for chapter books for boys as I know they can lead to further interest and learning on a variety of topics.
Noah is right there alongside his brother as we've begun to learn about dinosaurs, numbers, flying, shapes and patterns, writing and drawing. He dances, plays and repeats just about everything we say. He loves uncovering dinosaurs and fossils, trying to say parallelogram, and covering his eyes counting between 7 and 8 only and yelling "Here I come!"
So we haven't officially started yet and yet we have. We've been opening our eyes to see the learning opportunities all around us. Figuring out a rhythm to this homeschooling stuff. I'm excited and at some points I've already worried. Worried about how we are going to do all this. Or contemplating 2nd grade through 12th as if I have to have a set plan for his whole life for this one year to be successful. So I'm happy to say that is not true and I know we can take things bit by bit and change to meet Owen and Noah's needs. I have seen that Owen can lean towards the ADHD side of things but in different environments this does not seem so serious. He has to be comfortable with how he learns and know how to manage himself and we are here to guide him, to keep encouraging and to lead him in the way he should go. So God please help us to know how to lead and where to lead and give us patience and Joy in the process. Please help me not to take everything so seriously that I can't enjoy and truly be apart of things.
I realize though that my love of school supplies is tied to my love of learning and delving into new things and new adventures. So as sad as it may seem to toss aside the back to school frenzy I'm excited for new prospects. I think this attachment can be redirected into our new learning endeavors and creativity within that. Joy! :)
Maybe I can have a Back to Homeschool party to satisfy my need to celebrate.
Too adorable joyful pic-link below
Thursday, June 28, 2012
Transition, Pulling back and letting go.
So I haven't written in awhile mainly because I've been processing. Processing new choices, changes and observing a lot. We decided to home school only about a month before school ended. A lot of careful consideration has gone into this choice but it is not the only transition going on in our lives. When I sit back and look at how often we've felt as though we are in "Transition" I want to laugh because it seems to be a constant process. A process of change, fear, adapting, faith, evolving, struggling, triumph. When are we not in transition?
I think both Travis and I have held our breath time and time again waiting to arrive. I do not believe this is going to happen but I do believe we are pushing towards something greater.
I've been excited to see new developments in my boys. Watching them be creative. Hearing their thoughts. Even if they might be gibberish sometimes.
Owen and I discussed math the other day. I asked what he liked about it and where he saw it being helpful. He said he likes to make up his own math problems picturing bee's coming out of a hive and then picturing some being taken away. He counts them. Bee's have been a major subject of interest lately. Bee's in books, bee's being drawn, made out of paper and lego's, or observing them going from flower to flower.
He's also been sitting with dad watching his online photoshop course. Fascinated, wanting to try it.
Noah pretended to be a frog a few days ago. Seems to be the 1st time he's initiated pretend play not just gone along with it. We were checking the mail and he said, "Ribbit, Ribbit!" and started hopping all over the place. Then at one point he looked straight at me and said, "I'm a frog". They get so serious about their play sometimes it makes me laugh. A week or so ago at a friend's barbecue I noticed Owen intently listening to play "orders" with a furrowed brow and then explaining something of great importance to the game in his most serious voice. Play is not always play to kids, it's serious stuff. Wish I had a picture of that face. :)
I'm trying to be present more often. To be fully apart of what's going on, not trying to move on to the next thing or planning what I need to do throughout the week instead of listening. I make time for those things as well. I'm also sitting back, giving the kids room to get bored, create, figure out their own answers, learn persistence and not just rescue. My patience is constantly getting tested but what's new? We're learning to enjoy, search out, make time for ourselves and for each other, respect boundaries, etc.
I have to admit we've had our share of worries going on though. We desperately want to move but we are trying to stay thankful and keep giving it to God, praying and asking for solutions. Travis is taking two classes on top of his 40 hr work week right now. Also, Owen can sometimes have more than his share of problems with transitioning, focusing, and controlling his emotions leading me to go from a place of trust and peace to worrying about his future a little too often.
Then I see this and remember that God is in control.
“All your children will be taught by the Lord, and great will be your children’s peace” (Isaiah 54:13)
I've prayed, cried, and struggled with some decisions over my boys( especially Owen) but in the end I come to the Lord and my hearts desire is to train them up in the way they are to go. Individually and uniquely. For them to have an inner discipline, passion, creativity and a true relationship with the Lord. For them to love and to be loved. I can trust them to God and know he's placed us as parents for them with a purpose. It's amazing how much love he can give you for these little guys.
Reminder that God is so good:
Matt 7: 9-11
9 “You parents—if your children ask for a loaf of bread, do you give them a stone instead?10 Or if they ask for a fish, do you give them a snake? Of course not! 11 So if you sinful people know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give good gifts to those who ask him.
So I'm asking expectantly and trusting that he will help us, guide us, and that in him we have our joy, our strength. To relax and not worry and also to press forward where we need to and that he will provide all our needs and sometimes surprisingly even our hidden wants. God is good. All the time. That's my story and I'm sticking to it. Ok, we better go eat breakfast.
I'm trying to be present more often. To be fully apart of what's going on, not trying to move on to the next thing or planning what I need to do throughout the week instead of listening. I make time for those things as well. I'm also sitting back, giving the kids room to get bored, create, figure out their own answers, learn persistence and not just rescue. My patience is constantly getting tested but what's new? We're learning to enjoy, search out, make time for ourselves and for each other, respect boundaries, etc.
I have to admit we've had our share of worries going on though. We desperately want to move but we are trying to stay thankful and keep giving it to God, praying and asking for solutions. Travis is taking two classes on top of his 40 hr work week right now. Also, Owen can sometimes have more than his share of problems with transitioning, focusing, and controlling his emotions leading me to go from a place of trust and peace to worrying about his future a little too often.
Then I see this and remember that God is in control.
“All your children will be taught by the Lord, and great will be your children’s peace” (Isaiah 54:13)
I've prayed, cried, and struggled with some decisions over my boys( especially Owen) but in the end I come to the Lord and my hearts desire is to train them up in the way they are to go. Individually and uniquely. For them to have an inner discipline, passion, creativity and a true relationship with the Lord. For them to love and to be loved. I can trust them to God and know he's placed us as parents for them with a purpose. It's amazing how much love he can give you for these little guys.
Reminder that God is so good:
Matt 7: 9-11
9 “You parents—if your children ask for a loaf of bread, do you give them a stone instead?10 Or if they ask for a fish, do you give them a snake? Of course not! 11 So if you sinful people know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give good gifts to those who ask him.
So I'm asking expectantly and trusting that he will help us, guide us, and that in him we have our joy, our strength. To relax and not worry and also to press forward where we need to and that he will provide all our needs and sometimes surprisingly even our hidden wants. God is good. All the time. That's my story and I'm sticking to it. Ok, we better go eat breakfast.
Source: weheartit.com via Sally on Pinterest
Sunday, May 20, 2012
Questioning: Freedom, Rules & Handwashing
Galatians 5:1
[ Freedom in Christ ] So Christ has truly set us free. Now make sure that you stay free, and don’t get tied up again in slavery to the law.
So a few weeks ago an idea sparked my interest to search it out further in the world and in my Bible. I had had a discussion with a friend that led me to ponder our earthly set of rules and standards. Growing up I heard the words "Worldly" used many times. Do not become worldly. Worldly as I knew it to be as a youngster had to do with falling in with the wrong crowd, drinking, smoking, forgetting God or thinking yourself too good for believing. But what about the "traditions of men" that are spoken of in Mark 7 where Jesus slams the Pharisees for upholding these traditions above God's law or God's Heart?
The Pharisees are judging the disciples because they didn't wash their hands before they ate.
It made me start thinking about parenting.
It made me start thinking about rules or cultural standards we uphold and even criticize or lecture others about that have no Biblical roots. Or are just being held above God's love and forgiveness.
By the way the show Glee has been randomly making biblical discussions apart of the show. I'm all for showing teenagers as smart on television too many times they are portrayed as stupid or conniving. These kids though(2 or 3 of them) seem to have Leviticus memorized and see no difference between the Old and New Testament believing then that you would need to pick and choose what parts of the Bible are still valid or apply to your life personally. Mostly because of the plethora of rules that would be impossible to adhere to or are outdated in Leviticus.
Now we could argue why this is wrong and discuss basic theology but what I'm interested in is the fact that many times we blur the two and stop living in freedom. We get confused, we live in and around man's set of rules where power and control( many times based in fear) leak in maybe not in words but in actions and the Freedom that Christ died for gets lessened.
Colossians 2:
20 You have died with Christ, and he has set you free from the spiritual powers of this world. So why do you keep on following the rules of the world, such as, 21 “Don’t handle! Don’t taste! Don’t touch!”? 22 Such rules are mere human teachings about things that deteriorate as we use them. 23 These rules may seem wise because they require strong devotion, pious self-denial, and severe bodily discipline. But they provide no help in conquering a person’s evil desires.
Are we living free?
I realize I'm leaving this post with loose ends. I'm still pondering, still praying. I want my mind to be renewed. I don't want to conform blindly not questioning.
Hmmmm..... I'll leave you with this.
Romans 12:
2 Do not be conformed to this world (this age), [fashioned after and adapted to its external, superficial customs], but be transformed (changed) by the [entire] renewal of your mind [by its new ideals and its new attitude], so that you may prove [for yourselves] what is the good and acceptable and perfect will of God, even the thing which is good and acceptable and perfect [in His sight for you].
That's what I want!
Jess
God loves you!
This is good stuff- Thank you Jesus!
Monday, April 30, 2012
Studying Owen-figuring out Schooling/Driving my friends crazy
So for the last couple of years I may have been driving my friends and family insane.
At some point before I was even thinking about children I heard other moms saying, "You need to look into schools early because you'll have to put them on a waiting list if you want to be in a charter school or school of choice." Others were getting evaluated by teachers who would come into the home( and see my mess possibly labeling me as unfit because of my lack of organized papers, uh uh). There are public schools to check out(at least 3 elementary schools in my tiny town) and of course home schooling. I thought I'll get to it went it's relevant.
So I blissfully went along with life and eventually found out I was carrying a bouncing baby boy( most likely because he was developing inside a swimming pool). I remember seeing him on the ultrasound doing these ninja kicks and thought, "Yeah that's a boy". Still why in the world would I be researching school methods or learning styles when I hadn't even met the tyke yet. Breast-feeding was the thing I really needed to figure out at that moment. I was content learning about how his lungs were developing and once born learning how we would ever get to sleep again.
Then 4 came with 5 nipping at it's heels and I started thinking I better figure this stuff out. Along the way we've tried different school-like schedules, work sheets, had many field trips and I've answered well over a trillion questions I'm convinced. Somehow learning has been going on since he greeted us outside the womb and has never stopped. I became a teacher almost immediately teaching him 1st how to regulate his breathing when laid on my chest after birth, then how to eat, and encouraging his rolling over, words, walking, creativity, and eventually critical and empathetic thinking.
How did he learn best though and what type of schooling would be best for him? I knew some people had concrete viewpoints for one way or the other but I didn't know my own. All I had was a romanticized vision of him all ready for kindergarten with a backpack, brand-new school supplies and a handsome new outfit about to board a school bus. "Good-bye Dear Son, I shall miss you till you come back in a fortnight." Ok maybe that wasn't going to happen but I have a bit of the fanciful in me.
Something else fancy:
I didn't really get to visit all the schools I wanted by the time we had to enroll for school so I prayed about it and felt that the public school down the road was the best choice to begin with. I still wondered but believed this was what we were supposed to do initially.
School has been interesting and a challenge. Whether public school is the right choice for Owen's future is still being determined but it has helped to answer some questions and illuminate traits in Owen that have helped me to understand him and the public school system better. I had previously thought Owen needed to be around more people to thrive academically because at home he hardly ever wanted to work on a project alone. Now I know that he needs encouragement to delve into learning on his own to build his confidence (not more people in the room). I've also learned that he is a visual-spatial learner because of a combination of book learning and observing and evaluating his responses at home and in the classroom. Especially when I was called in for the, "Why is he doing that?" meeting with his teacher, a special education teacher and some other military like kindergarten teacher. At 1st I was upset at their bewilderment and frustration but it spurred me to learn more so in the end it was helpful.
I want to write more about his learning style in depth but some things he was doing that lead me to discover his visual-spatial style were:
Tipping his chair constantly
His eyes rolling back in his head when being called to make eye contact
Daydreaming
Many times at home he would tell me what he was picturing
He has very detailed stories that he has gotten worried about translating to paper(crying even, poor boy)
He is doing better with whole-word reading than phonics(memorizes what the words look like)
I remember when he was 3 or 4 he made a Lego airplane and used it to make several exact copies
and many other things, etc, etc, etc( King and I anyone?)
I've read a plethora of books in the last 9 months or so and if you want to skip the giant bundle of books with tidbits of good information(all helpful though) I would pick up http://www.amazon.com/Visual-Spatial-Learners-Alexandra-Golon/dp/1593633246 .
It's called The Visual Spatial Learner. It is written by a teacher(and parent to 2 VS learners) to teachers or parents with the purpose of understanding this growing learning style and helping these kids to do well in school. Some other books seem almost negative(towards schools or towards the learning style) and in some teachers viewpoints learning styles equals learning problem( which I believe is not true). I've noticed that it seems as though people believe that visual-spatial learning and dyslexia, ADD or ADHD go hand in hand(which it can) but may I suggest that we begin to look at our children's learning to see the strengths because they may be having a problem in school because there is not an understanding of how these learners thrive. They are inventors and visionaries. They look at things in ways others can't, creating multiple solutions to problems they find and there are techniques that help those worrisome things like reading and writing become simpler and less frustrating for both student and parent(and research papers, book reports, showing math work, etc). I'm not saying that dyslexia, ADD or ADHD don't exist but I do think there is more to look at and consider.
Like this:
I read in an ADHD magazine that some amount of "Nature Therapy"(spending time outside playing, discovering, resting) helps dramatically with the focus of ADHD students in the classroom. It made me wonder about the need for more free time as opposed to more scheduling and more testing.
Here's some online nature therapy while you read:
So I still have to decide about Owen's schooling for next year and down the road but I feel confident that this information has equipped me to understand my son and maybe even myself better. I have a much better idea of what he needs and how I can advocate for him if I have to. I'm starting to think we are more alike than I thought but he is still so much like his dad. We have a whole family of very unique learners in different ways. It will be fun to discover Noah's strengths as he gets older. So far I know that he is head strong wanting to do everything on his own starting and the age of 1. I know we all think our kids are like that but you should have seen him climbing the mountains at the Rocky Mountain National Park this weekend.
Me: "Noah we need to come where everyone else is."
Noah: "No"
Me: "You want to climb higher?"
Noah: "Uh huh"
Me: "Noah this is too far we have to go back down."
Noah: "No."
Me: "Ok we're going."
Noah: "Nooooooooo!", while running higher and higher.
I eventually grabbed him and attempted scooting down the mountain while he kicked and screamed. I didn't fall......but it was awkward. That boy.
I apologize to all my friends and family who have heard me waffling through this learning/schooling research. I promise I am coming over to the side of clear decisiveness. Darn you open mind. :)
At some point before I was even thinking about children I heard other moms saying, "You need to look into schools early because you'll have to put them on a waiting list if you want to be in a charter school or school of choice." Others were getting evaluated by teachers who would come into the home( and see my mess possibly labeling me as unfit because of my lack of organized papers, uh uh). There are public schools to check out(at least 3 elementary schools in my tiny town) and of course home schooling. I thought I'll get to it went it's relevant.
So I blissfully went along with life and eventually found out I was carrying a bouncing baby boy( most likely because he was developing inside a swimming pool). I remember seeing him on the ultrasound doing these ninja kicks and thought, "Yeah that's a boy". Still why in the world would I be researching school methods or learning styles when I hadn't even met the tyke yet. Breast-feeding was the thing I really needed to figure out at that moment. I was content learning about how his lungs were developing and once born learning how we would ever get to sleep again.
Then 4 came with 5 nipping at it's heels and I started thinking I better figure this stuff out. Along the way we've tried different school-like schedules, work sheets, had many field trips and I've answered well over a trillion questions I'm convinced. Somehow learning has been going on since he greeted us outside the womb and has never stopped. I became a teacher almost immediately teaching him 1st how to regulate his breathing when laid on my chest after birth, then how to eat, and encouraging his rolling over, words, walking, creativity, and eventually critical and empathetic thinking.
How did he learn best though and what type of schooling would be best for him? I knew some people had concrete viewpoints for one way or the other but I didn't know my own. All I had was a romanticized vision of him all ready for kindergarten with a backpack, brand-new school supplies and a handsome new outfit about to board a school bus. "Good-bye Dear Son, I shall miss you till you come back in a fortnight." Ok maybe that wasn't going to happen but I have a bit of the fanciful in me.
Something else fancy:
I didn't really get to visit all the schools I wanted by the time we had to enroll for school so I prayed about it and felt that the public school down the road was the best choice to begin with. I still wondered but believed this was what we were supposed to do initially.
School has been interesting and a challenge. Whether public school is the right choice for Owen's future is still being determined but it has helped to answer some questions and illuminate traits in Owen that have helped me to understand him and the public school system better. I had previously thought Owen needed to be around more people to thrive academically because at home he hardly ever wanted to work on a project alone. Now I know that he needs encouragement to delve into learning on his own to build his confidence (not more people in the room). I've also learned that he is a visual-spatial learner because of a combination of book learning and observing and evaluating his responses at home and in the classroom. Especially when I was called in for the, "Why is he doing that?" meeting with his teacher, a special education teacher and some other military like kindergarten teacher. At 1st I was upset at their bewilderment and frustration but it spurred me to learn more so in the end it was helpful.
I want to write more about his learning style in depth but some things he was doing that lead me to discover his visual-spatial style were:
Tipping his chair constantly
His eyes rolling back in his head when being called to make eye contact
Daydreaming
Many times at home he would tell me what he was picturing
He has very detailed stories that he has gotten worried about translating to paper(crying even, poor boy)
He is doing better with whole-word reading than phonics(memorizes what the words look like)
I remember when he was 3 or 4 he made a Lego airplane and used it to make several exact copies
and many other things, etc, etc, etc( King and I anyone?)
I've read a plethora of books in the last 9 months or so and if you want to skip the giant bundle of books with tidbits of good information(all helpful though) I would pick up http://www.amazon.com/Visual-Spatial-Learners-Alexandra-Golon/dp/1593633246 .
It's called The Visual Spatial Learner. It is written by a teacher(and parent to 2 VS learners) to teachers or parents with the purpose of understanding this growing learning style and helping these kids to do well in school. Some other books seem almost negative(towards schools or towards the learning style) and in some teachers viewpoints learning styles equals learning problem( which I believe is not true). I've noticed that it seems as though people believe that visual-spatial learning and dyslexia, ADD or ADHD go hand in hand(which it can) but may I suggest that we begin to look at our children's learning to see the strengths because they may be having a problem in school because there is not an understanding of how these learners thrive. They are inventors and visionaries. They look at things in ways others can't, creating multiple solutions to problems they find and there are techniques that help those worrisome things like reading and writing become simpler and less frustrating for both student and parent(and research papers, book reports, showing math work, etc). I'm not saying that dyslexia, ADD or ADHD don't exist but I do think there is more to look at and consider.
Like this:
I read in an ADHD magazine that some amount of "Nature Therapy"(spending time outside playing, discovering, resting) helps dramatically with the focus of ADHD students in the classroom. It made me wonder about the need for more free time as opposed to more scheduling and more testing.
Here's some online nature therapy while you read:
So I still have to decide about Owen's schooling for next year and down the road but I feel confident that this information has equipped me to understand my son and maybe even myself better. I have a much better idea of what he needs and how I can advocate for him if I have to. I'm starting to think we are more alike than I thought but he is still so much like his dad. We have a whole family of very unique learners in different ways. It will be fun to discover Noah's strengths as he gets older. So far I know that he is head strong wanting to do everything on his own starting and the age of 1. I know we all think our kids are like that but you should have seen him climbing the mountains at the Rocky Mountain National Park this weekend.
Me: "Noah we need to come where everyone else is."
Noah: "No"
Me: "You want to climb higher?"
Noah: "Uh huh"
Me: "Noah this is too far we have to go back down."
Noah: "No."
Me: "Ok we're going."
Noah: "Nooooooooo!", while running higher and higher.
I eventually grabbed him and attempted scooting down the mountain while he kicked and screamed. I didn't fall......but it was awkward. That boy.
I apologize to all my friends and family who have heard me waffling through this learning/schooling research. I promise I am coming over to the side of clear decisiveness. Darn you open mind. :)
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