Monday, October 8, 2012
Technically I'm supposed to be writing a grocery list right now.
So without going into all the details I'm just going to say this past month has been a bit overwhelming but we are calming down now and having more time for each other and room to breathe.
You may already now(especially if you're friends or family) but I have two beautiful boys who are 2 and 6. We have just started our first homeschooling year for our 1st born Owen and we are finding our way. I spent the 1st month rushing forward getting kind of bossy and angry because I was stressed and pregnant and trying to figure things out. Surprise, surprise I had some opposition to this method.
So I kept( and still keep) going to God in prayer asking for wisdom and the ability to let my son make choices in this process. I've also made it a point to try and back off when I sense I'm coming on too strongly and my timing for something is off. I'm also trying to value my sons interests even when they seem frivolous to me( video games anyone?).
We're starting to have more fun with this now. Yay!
Owen's started reading here and there with his dad. Video games, bedtime stories, not big words but much more willing than with me so I'm grateful.
Last week at some point Owen woke up and wanted to work out some math problems just for fun. We did this for about 20 minutes before we ate breakfast. Fun development.
We've had lot's of new opportunities to connect with others, go on field trips, and living history days that we've had to pick and choose so as to not do too much. Trying to find a good balance.
My son loves hands on and he loves to lead. So I'm praying for ways to nurture this as well as gently challenge him to see the value in more passive learning and in working together in groups. I am also very hands on but like to stand off and observe or take it all in as well. My most cherished moments growing up were times where I could travel somewhere and experience new things in deeper ways. I'm still like that.
I've also noticed that Owen has some sensory things that bother him( some since he was a baby). I think I've given into some belief in the past that you'll get over something if you're made to do it, wear it, eat it, whatever so I haven't been quick to cater to him. I have been realizing though( with the help of my husband and other friends) that this is not always the best way to go about this. My husband helped me to see this about myself. So I'm trying to see where I've been too harsh and allow for some grace.
Example: Owen doesn't like Sunday morning worship at our church but he will happily sit through and sometimes participate in the much quieter Friday nite worship.
I used to worry that Owen hated worship altogether( he showed such a strong dislike) but he is much more respectful and willing to participate in a quieter atmosphere.
So I'm trying to give room to be different, room to have preferences and room to let him feel powerful and be respected as well. I'm trying not to bulldoze. I want to nurture a house of respect and love. Wow is that challenging. It's not all about me and my way. I think that's the 1st hurdle in giving anyone else respect young or old. I guess that can be a hurdle for a lot of things.
I thank God for my husband who fills in gaps where I lack and who has grace for me too( I am not always lovely).
I thank God for his being with me and my family every step. The word I kept standing on all month long was the promise that his mercies are new every morning. Great is Thy Faithfulness is going through my mind now. It's true though. I'd have the most exasperating day where it seemed as if everything was going wrong and the next morning I'd feel his peace and joy and I'd thank him for everything I could think of. I could feel his mercy on me and new strength to face the day.
I'm praying for the fruit of the Spirit to be evident in our household and to be led by the Spirit not only in my personal walk but in our steps forward as a family.
The Joy of the Lord is my Strength.